Bourgeoisie: Part 1, Low
by KennedyTheCount
Summary: Jiraiya felt that he needed some more variation in his Icha Icha series, so why not start writing again about his favorite blond student? It's not like he needed to know or anything. Being able to come up with the delicious pairings, Jiraiya has everything set up in his new book. So why not add a little Uchiha, a closet, and a tired Naruto to start? AU, School setting, fluff yaoi.


**IMPORTANT: READ THIS FIRST, PLEASE!**

This story was first originally typed by the author, xDawn. Not only are we very close in person, but are best friend. She has given me full right to all her stories and the right to re-vamp them as I see fit, which was mostly all of it, as she will soon be deleting them from her account, sadly to say.

Thus if you recognize the storyline in this and think it is similar to another one, well, that is because it probably is. With her permission and consent, I have changed a few, actually a lot lol, things around, while still keeping the integrity of the main idea of her piece alive.

If anyone does not believe me, that is perfectly fine with me, you may sent her a PM or such, and you may discuss such things with her.

I also which to mention that this is an AU fanfiction. And that you all should just seat back and relax, enjoy reading it. Thank you for your time. Slight hints of Yaoi and humor. Rated T for Teen for those moments and callous thoughts.

Sincerely,  
The Count, Kennedy.

* * *

Thick fingers ran through unruly grey strands as he sighed and grumbled. One hand lazily wrapped in the inside of his kimono, the other tapping the pen against the wooden desk harshly. The hermit was never this stumped before as he grumbled once more, forehead wrinkling to add more lines.

"Stupid writer's blocks, if only I had Tsunade to distract me with those succulent breasts…"

Jaraiya thought attentively, a dazed of look crossed his features as he instantly snapped out of it and whipped some drool from the side of his mouth. Still grinning like an idiot he tapped the pen once more and sat up.

His latest work was hitting well, but they said that the Icha Icha series needed a bit of a spin-off, of sorts. He himself wasn't one to argue, but on those he always had inspiration and sources to draw from, here he was just… well trying to add some sex to a couple he didn't know he was even going to be writing about.

Feeling his cellphone vibrate he sighed yet again and grumbled, the caller ID stating Naruto. Laughing, right as he was going to pick up the house phone rang off and he raised a curios eyebrow up. He wasn't one to questions life's choices, but this was just weird too. It wasn't that late at night, but why would an Uchiha call him too. Especially… Sasuke?

"Hmm… what could this two be up to?" He demanded in his head, he knew Naruto had a prankster reputation, but what if Sasuke was fallowing in those steps too?

A stoic expression crossed his features, it wasn't until a few rings later a brilliant idea captured his mind and the Sannin gave off a hearty laughter.

Itachi would never allow such a thing to happen to his brother.

But the simultaneous calls would give him the perfect idea for his new short book. The only thing about it all was that he would have to change his name. A womanizer like him couldn't be associated writing such a book about prude boys.

Well… they were virgins, correct?

And his fans were annoying him, so why not kill two birds with one stone, make a new short story, include his favorite boy, add some smut, and there you go, money into his wallet.

Minutes turned to hours, and hours turned to days as time passed by. So far all went good, and in three months he had finished, unbestowed to anybody that knew him. Even though Tsunade had tried to search for what that man had up his sleeve. She had smelled money, and even though she was horrible at bets, her nose wasn't when it came to money.

This was a habit Jaraiya had come to pick up from an old friend, and leaned back, legs resting upon the wooden table. Grinning he took the thick stack of papers and whistled in the air proudly. Every time he would finish a book he would read the first chapter; if he liked it, it would stay that way, if not then he would change everything from scratch.

Concluding it he named the series: Bourgeoisie. And this book, "Part 1, Low".

Coughing into a closed fist he smirked and flipped to the first page and started to read out loud, his voice clear and crisp as the night breeze.

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a child named Sasuke Uchiha. The child was born with slick jet black hair and onyx eyes. The moment he was born he inherited the great looks and brains of being born, and having the luxury of being raised, an Uchiha. As he would start to grow up, the child became spoiled, his parents too busy and wanting to be left alone, they just gave him everything that the small child wanted. This only added to his spoiled personality, ending to also be an arrogant, prideful, little brat. The sad part was that the other women wanted him… well, as much as seven years old could want each other now, and the younger boys wanted to be like him.

No matter how negative his personality was, the boy did have his good points. He was respectful, punctual, and diligent. Always doing as he was told, smart and athletic. Even though he tried not to show it, the boy worked hard.

Although that all changed the moment Naruto Uzumaki stepped forth into his world. In the elementary school that he went to, it was pretty small. Everybody knew each so the rumors of a new kid spread faster than Naruto's leg's when he saw Ramen. Deciding to make himself known and see what the ruckus was about he went to look for the boy himself.

The moment he did, he almost regretted it. He was a good-looking kid. Blue hues staring directly at onyx ones. If it wasn't for his hyperactive attitude that people couldn't see through, he could even rival up to the raven when it came to looks.

Sasuke was one of those people who needed attention; craved it, but unconsciously. Besides, he would have probably been to cool to notice that. And the blond wasn't giving him any. Talk about rejection.

"Hey, Blondie. Want to be my friend?" Sasuke smirked as he stood right in front of Naruto; hands in khaki pockets, a smug look adorning his features.

Naruto would normally have been than delighted to say yes, him himself being a people person, but hearing all those things about him just made the blond make a quick judgment on the raven. And a pretty accurate one as well. Scoffing he raised his head as well to the Uchiha, almost mimicking his posture.

"Please. Who would want to be friends with a guy like you who doesn't even know the new kid's name?" Naruto said with a slight hint of anger as he stomped away, hands in pockets mimicking him, but not before blowing a raspberry at Sasuke.

Blinking, he stared at the empty space where Naruto had been and bit into his cheek gingerly, fists curled up into a ball, cheeks flaring red with anger.

_"Oh hell, no. He did not just say and do that."_

Great, not only was the kid narcissistic at his age, but he was already starting to think like his older brother. Not seemingly surprised, his face showed pure calmness and boredom, and then he turned the other way like nothing happened. Oh, but inside his little seven-year old head he was already prepared with ways to get the blonds attention.

To Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto was a stupid ball of sun shine that didn't seem to stop bouncing up and down, no matter how many times he tried to pop him.

And damn, did he try to pop that ball like there was no tomorrow.

Coming to a realization, people don't reject Uchiha's especially Sasuke. So to him, that meant that he needed to do some plans to carry everything underway.

As the years passed from elementary, to middle, and to now high school the raven wanted to pull each and every single individual hair follicle out of his scalp sometimes. For twelve years he had tried to get the blonde's damn attention, but nothing seemed to work.

Nothing!

He tried the intellectual approach:

Receiving top honors throughout the nation and ranking number one in the school with the best grades. The blond flicked him off seeing as he was kissing ass, while the girls just wooed and awed him.

He tried the athletic approach:

Sasuke had the best time for the mile run and even won a gold medal; the blond glared and ignored him. The thought of losing to him again was too much in Naruto's mind. The girls just melted into a puddle of goo.

He tried the ignoring approach:

The raven was sitting in chemistry looking out the window enjoying the quiet time, until some pink haired leech confessed her absurd love to him, before he could even say anything, never the less get a chance to glare at her, he caught a dash of orange and knew Naruto was there!

This was his chance!

Then the blond spat words of hatred saying he had stolen his date from him to go to the dance.

"_God Damn it!"_ Sasuke cursed in his head. This was even beginning to annoy him.

Maybe he should have just given up, but no. Uchiha's are too prideful for that thing. Giving up isn't even their dictionary and unfortunately for Sasuke, it's neither in Naruto's.

Well, sometime after that ugly incident, the new school year, to their last year of high school had started and nothing amazing had happened between him and Naruto. At least they had one class together, Chemistry. But for now all was just a normal morning, with a regular routine, and thinking about the dope. The only thing that had changed up was that he was 50 minutes late to class, at least he wanted to prove to the teacher he was even in school. The last thing he needed were his parents on his butt again. Before he even noticed, he caught the sight of something yellow flash before his eyes as it fell into the janitor's closet, painful cries emitting from it. Blinking he raised a curios and thin eyebrow up.

Glancing around, the raven blinked noticed that there was nobody around. Deciding to take up the offer nicely presented to him by fate, his curiosity accepted the challenge.

"_The hell was that?"_

He thought curiously, peeking in he noticed who it was. Naruto Uzumaki laid there, in his prime, groaning and moaning in pain. Smirking, the Uchiha scoffed, wanting to thoroughly take advantage of the situation.

"Nice fall there, dope."

Groaning once more, blue hues glared over at the Uchiha, right as he was going to insult him back, a dark figure appeared behind Sasuke and pushed him into the janitor's closet with Naruto.

"Teme, watch ou-!"

By the time he had said it, the door had clicked close, and both men were spread all over each other in an uncomfortable position, trying to gain some air as best they could in the small space.

A dark chuckle could be heard from the other side of the door as they both tensed up in horror. With one swift movement the person who pushed Naruto smirked and locked the closet. Meanwhile, inside the closet, Naruto and Sasuke were trying to regain their breath and try to figure out what had happened; mostly because Naruto was slightly claustrophobic and Sasuke because, well, he was so close to the blond.

"Damn it, you dobe. Watch where you're stepping!" He hissed dangerously at Naruto, his voice in a low whisper; hands placed at each side of his head, a loud clanging sound resonating through the empty hallway.

"Look who's talking, teme! You're the one that decided to rear your ugly face and laugh at my misery." Naruto practically yelled back, nostrils fairing wide with anger, a frown emitting even in the darkness of the small crowded room. As they glared at each other in the midst of the darkness, the bell had rung dismissing them from their classes, completely flying over their heads.

Just right outside the sound of annoying high-pitched laughter filled the air distracting Sasuke and making Naruto smile from ear to ear. The blond knew that voice, and it was the love of his life! Sakura-chan!

Opening his lips and taking in a good deep breath he was about to yell, but got the wind knocked out of him, practically gasping for air as Sasuke frowned. He too had recognized the voice and the last thing he wanted was an annoying leech to be after him, and such a situation. She might have even switched places with Naruto just to be in that situation with him. "Shut. Up. Naruto. Do not speak." He hissed lowly. First time speaking to the blond with his first name. Glaring at the rotten bastard, Naruto growled and right as he was about to say something he heard a really annoying laughter, and he found it to be the dirty blond of the school.

Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno.

Both together. And neither wanted to deal with the woman. Sighing they hung their heads in shame and grumbled in their heads in annoyance. The only thing that they could do was wait for them to leave and hope for another group of people to come by and help them.

After a good few minutes passed, Sasuke stared over to Naruto, "Dobe… I have a plan. It might sound a bit rough, but I promise to be gentle."

Unknown to the two of them that The blond and the pink haired woman were both still alive. The only thing was that they had started to text, and had been quieter than Jiyaiya peeping at woman in the Woman's Bath.

Once both woman heard the words they looked at each other in surprise, knowing full well who had spoken. Sakura's gasp resonated throughout the hallways as a look of shock and horror filled her face. Immediately dropping her phone, she was about to burst in there and ask what was happening, but that stupid pig had clamped a hand tightly over her mouth.

Pushing the blond away Sakura and scowled, hands clenched into fists and she gave a look asking what was up. But as soon as it come, it disappeared as she noticed the blond female also wanting to see what was up, but this time with more stealth.

"They can't hear what we say, but we can hear them. Even the janitor's closet it build like the classrooms here in school. Something tells me that what they have to say will be interesting and important."

A devious smirk emitting on her features as Sakura took a step back, green orbs staring at the door. Yamanaka was correct, which made her feel slightly dumb for letting her emotions take over her like that in such a split second. Who knew that the blond was still useful for something except talking and tarot card reading?

"What are you doing, Ino- pig?"

"Oh you know, just telling two little birds something."

Sakura knew exactly what that meant. Hinata would be coming soon, with Shino not too far behind, and dog breath too. She could have sworn that the Inuzuka boy had a crush on the younger Hyuuga. Speaking of which, that also meant that Neji would come too once he noticed that Hinata was not seating at the regular table that they always met for lunch.

It was lunch time too, sadly something that had also slipped both boy's head.

As for the other person it would be Shikamaru. Something she had also assumed that they were both secretly dating, but after the new girl, Temari, emerged a few years ago, things seemed to wobble between them. But because Shikamaru would be there, Choji, their dearly beloved best friend, would also come.

Great, just what she needed, more people witnessing the hassle of it all.

And just on cue, on one end of the hallway a half asleep Shikamaru grumbled, fingers racking through tied up locks, Choji snacking on some chips right next to him.

Meanwhile on the other side, the Hyuuga heiress was begging to the Inuzuka to speak softer, no need for such loud noise, soft fingers tracing the outline of her wrist. Once all three parties met together they gave Ino a weird look, others just one filled with boredom.

Yawning once more, Shikamaru began. "What is it Ino, what did you call us here f-"

Before he could finish the loud sound of a moan erupted from the room. All eyes switched from Ino, to the closet, back to Ino. Horror striking all their hearts as Shikamara was about to grab his shadow and leave, Kiba trying his hardest to not laugh at a tomato red Hinata, as Sakura mentally slapped herself.

"Fine... I'll trust you unlike last time. You did it too hard."

"Well I'm sorry; we Uchiha's like it rough. Now stay still." As he tried to move around once more causing their bodies to colloid with each other and make some more noises. The tiny space proving more difficult to use to their advantage than before.

Bang!

Actually what the Uchiha was talking about was trying to move sense this way was too uncomfortable and the last time he had tried to move Naruto he did it roughly causing the blond to squeak.

People outside had the _wtf_ look of their faces as some more people stopped and watched what was going on.

As Naruto shifted to one side Sasuke shifted to the other.

"Alright I'll begin." Said Sasuke as he grabbed the blond and moved him against the back wall.  
"I'm taking my jacket off its too hot," Mumbled Naruto as he took his jacket off and put it right next to his foot as the Uchiha starred.  
"Great stripping you idiot. It'll make it easier for me to move around."

People outside were aw struck as all the freshmen were staring at the janitor's closet and even Kakashi came outside his class room to see why his kids weren't inside his classroom eating like usual.

As he strolled over he heard a bang and raised a curios eyebrow until he saw all the kids tomato red faces. He couldn't help, but smirked at that under his health mask.

When moving Naruto, Sasuke not only touched his ass twice, but felt up his chest. He was glad this blond was actually an idiot for not noticing this. He would make sure not to wash those hands until he got home, unzipped his pants, and had a little fun in his wonderland.

To get an easier hold of the door Naruto's ankle got twisted completely in the sweater and Sasuke just looked down in confused. Looking over at Naruto wince he could tell it was cutting his circulation slowly.

"Okay I'm going in."

Naruto knowing what he meant nodded. Sasuke grabbed the sweater, but accidentally only tied it up even more.

He gave a blank stare and could only laugh nervously in his head, "_Whoops.._"

"Ow, that hurts."

"Sorry, don't worry its going to get better soon. Besides the first time always hurts" Maybe for that movement Naruto thought that the raven could actually be very nice.

After a few minutes of struggle he hated the darkness for once in his life as he heard Naruto grumble and then let a groan escape his lips that was loud enough for everybody to hear.

All ears perked up as the girls squealed in delight. Well, not every girl, Hinata was practically in tears as her small fingers covered her tomatoe red face, Kiba had to excuse himself into a classroom as the laughter of the dog boy could be heard from the outside.

"Please hurry up!" The blond screamed as he banged the back of his head against the wall.

By now even the science teacher, Jiraiya, was taking notes at everything that was going on. Heck, even Kiba had come out and was recording this for future blackmail purposes. It was too good of a chance to pass up, he truly did love modern technology. Slowly zooming in nice and steady at everyone's reaction to the small scene in the closet.

"Ah! Sasuke! I can't take it anymore!"

"Shut up blond! I'm ... almost... done." Even the raven was trying to hurry up and he could tell he was almost there. He could even feel the sweat dripping from his forehead down to his cheek bone.

Why the hell was it so hot in there?

Some girls fainted as blood was dripping from their nose and flooding the hallway. By now Shikamaru was shaking his head from side to side and walking away as Choji had dropped his bag of chips on the floor, mouth gaping open.

"Please hurry teme, I can't hold it ...in."

"Just... one more... push!" The raven screamed and was able to untangle Naruto's ankle out of the wrapped up sweater on the floor, now completely stretched out and loose. Although, since they had bumped into the walls so much, they had accidentally pushed a can of white order less paint, that was on the top shelf above them, over the blonds head dripping it over his head, slowly running down the side of his temple and down his neck.

"Ah! Ewww... Sasuke!"

"What is it dead last," He said panting from being bend over so much and the extreme heat in that room. If this is all it took for him to get tired, then he seriously needed to reconsider his training.

"What's this white stuff? And why is it so sticky." Eyebrows furring together, a look of distaste flashing over his features. Then the idiot tasted it as he got his index finger and whipped some off his face, and plopped it in his mouth. "Eww... and it even taste weird too."

"Well then don't lick it."

Fair enough, the Uchiha did speak words of truth.

"But I want too. It's a bit addicting." Naruto pouted, a bit depressed that his actions and taste buds had to contradict each other.

Hinata fainted at last.

"And besides..." the blond finished. "There's a lot more from where that came from."

And there went Ino and Sakura, not too far behind Hinata. Their beloved Sasuke-Kun, easily influenced by that idiotic blond.

Iruka just stared in awe, a very cute vermilion red as Kakashi just stared at Iruka. "Hmmn, not even us in High school. And man were we crazy. This was something we should have tried out when we were younger." Kakashi whispered seductively against the other teacher's ear as he wrapped a possessive arm over Iruka's hips.

Kiba had to take a double look as to figure out when they had sneaked up behind him without him even noticing.

Iruka glared at Kakashi and kept on staring at the scene in front of him, while coughing into a closed fist. All the girls passed out on the floor, half the guys had an either disgusted look on their faces or were laughing their asses off, and he new that this incident was never going to be let down in the school.

Then they heard a few bangs here and there and all the teachers stared at each other as they all thought in unison.

"_A second round_?"

Then Kakashi grinned, well as much as possible under his medical mask, his one eye curving up in an irritating smile, "Well... Naruto does have a lot of stamina." He motioned, to only be fallowed by a small chuckle soon after. Iruka could only shake his head in shame.

Although what happened next shocked them all. The closet door burst open and both Naruto and Sasuke, semi- fully clothed, tumbled out.

And everybody, that wasn't passed out on the floor, just stared at them.

They were fully clothed. At least Sasuke was, but everyone could easily connect the dots and notice what a bit of heat in a tight room can do to someone.

The white stuff was paint.

Naruto's ankle red.

Everything added up.

And they did not have sex. Much to Kakashi's distaste.

"What a disappointment", Kakashi murmured under his breath as he sighed. His plan didn't work this time, but he was sure it was bound to work with Iruka next time.

When the two teens sprawled on the floor, gasping for air, covered in sweat and paint heard Kakashi's statement they looked at each other with a confused look on their faces.

"What disappointment?" they both said in unison as they finally noticed all the fainted girls on the floor, all the guys cracking up, and Iruka a bright red. It might not have been that obvious to the others, but Iruka had received more than a hint. He was just surprised that Kakashi had gotten away with it so easily. It truly didn't surprise him how slick the copy teacher was.

Of course Naruto didn't get it, but the look Kakashi gave Sasuke, made the raven want to jump the teacher right then and there. And not in a sexual term either. Since when the hell had the teacher noticed he wanted to get the blond's attention? Was he trying to help out or just make it more difficult?

When Sasuke felt a hand on his shoulder, he automatically tensed, and looked over to see Naruto with a smile on his face.

"Thanks for the help, teme."

"Hmm..."

Was all the Uchiha could muster and just smirked.

Maybe he would have to owe Kakashi something.

Poor poor Uchiha. He still thinks he wants Naruto's attention in his mind. Man, were they narrow-minded. When, what he actually wanted is everything of him and that includes the blond's heart.

But of course he won't notice that until he accidentally kisses him later on.

Then after all of them were dismissed, and the girls were awaken from the beauty sleep and taken away, a hungry Neji appeared with an energetic Lee, and tired Tenten by the same spot where everything had occurred. Lee energetic, because he was Lee, and Tenten tired, because she was forced to look with them for Hinata who was nowhere to be seen. The only two questioned that popped into his head were:

"_Did we miss anything? And where is Lady Hinata?"_

* * *

Placing the book on his lap, the first chapter parted he rubbed the bottom oh his chin and closed his eyes.

It wasn't up to par in exactly at how he liked things, but he was directing it to a different audience, and he needed a bit more variation, not to mention a huge disclaimer on how any characters in the book were not related to anybody dead or alive. Even though he was using such hard and concrete evidence. Giving off a slight nervous twitch and laughter, he rubbed the back of his head.

"_Sorry Naruto... please don't take it to heart. Money is money, and woman.. well, are woman._"

He thought diligently, and as if on cue, the blond strolled into the room, that same grin adorning his face, as Jiraiya practically through the prints out the window, but regained his composure.

"Yo, Pervy-Sensei. Two packages arrived for you. And I swear, this time I didn't peak inside..."

The teenager mumbled and placed both of them on top of his desk, completely oblivious to the book on the older man's lap. Naruto was curios, but too honest to try to lie about anything. One box was thin and covered in silver wrapping paper, small brown dots decorating the top, meanwhile the other was black, two huge red fans adorning it. A smirk plastered its way on the older man's face.

Naruto frowned and shook his head. "_What is he skimming?_"

Blue hues glanced over at the names and noticed who they were from, eyes widening. Why would those people not just deliver it themselves, it's not like anybody lived too far from each other.

Before Naruto could even open his lips, Jiraiya interrupted him. "Hey, boy, pick a number, one or two."

The blond thought about it for a second, for once, "Obviously one..." A triumphant grin spreading across his cheek, arms crossed over his puffed chest with pride and dignity.

And with that, Jiraiya had chosen to go back and keep the print on how it was, this book was sure to become a best seller, now to his second one. Well, Naruto had simply picked his fate by himself.

A dangerous grin appeared over the older man's feature, Naruto cringed back and tried to keep his grin too, slightly scared for his life if he had really picked the right number.

* * *

For those that didn't get the "Bourgeoisie" comment let me explain something. Bourgeoisie is a french word that means the middle class in society. For anybody who has taken a simple economics class, it states that within the three levels, there are three sub – levels to them. For example: Upper Middle Class, Middle Middle Class, and Low Middle Class. So on and so forth for the Upper and Lower class.

I believe I have said enough for some people to know what will happen next, but for those that didn't get the hint, I'll explain it. There will be two more one – shots regarding this story. And obviously old Jiyaiya will be narrating it. The fun part will be guessing who the next couples are.

And for now, I shall leave you from taking up your time. Please Review.

I really do enjoy reviews and most likely will reply back to them.

Thank you!


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